The Protector
by tinman12
Summary: Ok well, I protect people its what i do, and now my bosses are dumping a bunch of people who need protecting in my lap. What the hell do I do when I have to look after the Charmed Ones and the Cullen family and so many others! Read and find out. READ ME!
1. Prolouge

I am not your normal 14 year old child, for many reasons. Well one: I'm not really 14 I'm actually 2,753 years old

Yeah I know, what the hell you should be old and wrinkly and well… dead, but well see when I die I become someone else, and my life starts all over again.

But only if I die unintentionally, like cancer, I would live again, um, if my house suddenly fell to the ground I would live again.

But if someone shoots me or something I would die, forever.

The catch (yeah I know there is always one) I have to protect people, (like my latest one, but I'll get into that later) my life is worth nothing compared to theirs. I am a body guard of sorts.

Ok number two; I have many magical powers. Cool right! No, not really see the really cool ones; well they have sort of a child lock on them. I can't use them without permission. Unfortunately those are the ones I need the most. But I can still throw fire balls, teleport, and listen and project thoughts.

Those are the ones I can use at free will, and let me tell you I use them often. Really really often.

Number three; I have trained with the CIA, in fact I created the CIA yet I still can't run it, damn. I have to settle for being their top agent.

So I have amazingly fast reflexes and I am a black belt in karate, judo, tai kwan do, many others.

I am a master at most weapons including guns, bow and arrow, and sword fighting, don't forget the hack saw!

Yeah so apart from all that I am completely normal. I lead a normal life go to high school, go to parties, have fun. Its just I kick some butt once in a while.

That's all you really need to know about me, I'm sure you will learn lots along the way.

Now for my most recent charge, the Charmed Ones.

Ugh this could be difficult.

**Reviews make me happy! **

**Sincerely**

**Tinman**


	2. The Charmed Ones

Chapter 2:

Ok so I'm a little lazy what the hell sue me.

I waited a week from when I got the orders to protect them. I mean how could I know people were trying to kill them every other day.

When I finally got bored of protecting no one I tried doing surveillance at their house but all I could get was:

"Its weird talking to a pregnant woman about sex"

"Well how do you think I got pregnant Paige?"

"Ugh"

I was planning on waiting until a demon attack and then just pop up and save their lives. But I don't think I could live through more of this.

But what could I do? So I waited and waited.

Finally the answer to my prayers;

"Demon, demon, demon, demon. Get the potion!" Ugh FINALLY! 

I pop into their house and a tracer demon was there. Phoebe was fumbling in her pockets for a spell while Paige was getting ready to throw the potion.

Are these witches never prepared? "Hey Dickwad!" I call to the demon, he growls and turns around, just as he does I am tackled to the ground by Phoebe.

"What the hell are you doing? I was just about to get him!" I whisper in her ear.

"Yeah well it didn't look like it!"

I jump up, pulling Phoebe up with me and conjure a fireball, and throw it at the demon.

He disappears in a big ball of flame. That's my favorite part.

"Ok, who are you?" asks Paige.

"The name's Jane, Jane Hudson." Blowing my finger and putting it into my imaginary holster. "I got told that you need protecting, I'm your girl." I said.

They were all staring at me like I was some weirdo that just appeared in their house, killed something and then just acted like they were best friends… Oh right.

"Family meeting!" Yelled Piper.

Ugh I knew this was going to happen, I would come, save their lives and they would treat me like an alien. Well they are witches.

But then just as I was about to listen in on their conversation, I got a message from my boss at the CIA he is the one who tell me who to look after, but you see, he communicates with me through my brain. And it is really, really annoying because you cannot think about anything bad about him during one of these invasions of my brain, because he can hear it all. Dick.

_Jane,_

_What boss?_

_I need you to look after some more people_

_Are you fucking kidding me I just started looking after the Charmed ones and now you want me to look after someone else_

_Well first; no swearing_

_Sorry_

_Second; it is not my fault that you are only meeting with them now. I gave you the information about them a week ago. So now I am giving you someone else._

_Nah nah nah la la la nah nah nah. (Pause) Damn it did you hear that?_

_Yes. _

_Damn._

_See number one._

_Yes boss_

_Third; it is not just someone it is someone's. They are Vampires, and a girl who has stupidly fallen in love with one of them, and the Vampire has stupidly fallen for her as well. _

_Hey! They are in love your just jealous. _

_He watches her sleep_

_Whoa ok that is weird. I'll talk to him about it when I get there. But not right now ok tomorrow, I still have to talk with the sisters. _

_Well ok. Goodnight Jane_

_Yeah, yeah you too._

By the time I snap out of my daze the sisters are looking at me. "Jane" says Piper. By the looks on their faces it wasn't the first time they had said it.

"Yeah" I say.

"Look, we appreciate the offer but we are doing fine on our own so thanks but no thanks" said Paige.

"But I just totally killed a demon, in like 5 seconds. What's your record huh? And I help with your normal lives as well. C'mon just give me one chance. Please?"

*sigh* "Alright" said Phoebe after a long pause. "How do we contact you if we are in trouble?"

I hear a small "_Phoebe_" said by someone but she did not change her look.

"Just say my name, I'll hear." I said.

"Ok, we'll call." Said Phoebe.

I figured if they did not call in a week I would come and invade on their lives again.

Oh well, it's my job.

I teleported home, I had a history test to study for,

And I had to read up on vampires.

**Hope you like it, sort of just wrote it as I went along. **

**Sincerely **

**Tinman**


	3. Forks High School

Chapter 3:

Alright, vampires I can deal with this. I mean their file says that they are 'vegetarians' meaning they don't eat humans. Haha very funny. But I think that them starving themselves of human blood is only going to make it harder to resist.

Now I needed to think of a way to get into their lives. Hmm think, think, think. I have it I will pose as a new student at their school and get Bella to show me around.

Then we will become friends because of my irresistible charm. And she will introduce me to her boyfriend Edward the weird stalking vampire.

Then I will tell her that I am here to keep her and the vampires safe, and it will all be good.

So I should go get those enrollment forms. Coz I am going back to high school.

Wow it is a really small town with a really small school. I was waiting in the front office for my chaperone to arrive. It was really easy to get Bella as my chaperone. All I had to do was use a little magic. I projected the thought into her head and the next thing you know Bella was my helper.

Bella and Edward walked through the door.

I knew I would have to meet Edward someway or another before I told him I was the protector. So before I left for Forks I went down to the CIA headquarters to grab something that would block all vampire powers.

Bella walked up to me while Edward stayed behind a confused, thoughtful look on his face. Haha sucka, my high tech equipment was working.

"Hey I'm Bella welcome to Forks high. That's my boyfriend Edward." She pointed to Edward and I waved a greeting, he waved back. "What's your name?" Said Bella.

"Jane." I said. "Nice school, kinda small though. Is the weather always like this?" I had to be totally ignorant which was really annoying. But I had to be careful I didn't let anything I already knew about them slip.

"Yeah" laughed Bella "But Edward and his family like the rain a lot. So I'm happy." She said.

I could hear Edward's thoughts even though he could not hear mine it was sort of funny listening to his confusion to the total silence around him.

_It is so weird, there is total silence in this room. This Jane must be like Bella, very interesting I will have to ask Carlisle about it._

We were walking towards my first class when Edward said goodbye and kissed Bella. I waited patiently for them to finish, while I read my schedule. I had also 'told' the assistant at the front office to put me into all of Bella's classes. Looking at my schedule it was going to be a really boring day.

Bella ran up to where I was standing. "Sorry about that" she said. "No, its ok" I said. "So where is the gym?" I said and showed her my schedule.

"Oh!" she said "you have all of my classes."

"Wow, would you look at that. What a coincidence!" I said as I tried not to let the sarcasm drip into my voice.

"Yeah the gym is over here." She said as she led me to a tall grey building.

We got changed and I changed the subject to Edward.

"So Edward, he's hot!"

"Yes, he is. Isn't he?"

Before I had a chance to respond the teacher was telling us to set up the nets for volleyball. I love volleyball I used to play it a lot in a past life.

The teacher put me right up next to the net. Good that is where I wanted to be. The other team served the ball and it went out. How amazingly boring! Our team then served and it went in!

They did a clumsy return and then (just for the fun of it) I did a massive jump and slammed the ball down onto the ground. All the players were jumping away from the ball but some idiot named Mike leaped in to get the ball.

He cried out in pain as the ball hit him, hard, and went flying out. It was totally hilarious but I was going to have to act compassionate… damn.

"Oh my gosh, I am sooooo sorry. I didn't mean to hit it that hard. Are you ok?" I said as I rushed over to the poor kid that was trying to keep the pain from showing in his face.

"Yeah" he grunted. "That's a nice arm you have, you should join the team!"

"Thanks." I said thinking of taking the kid to the nurse, he looked like he was in tones of pain.

The teacher was coming over now "What is the problem over here?" She said

"I umm hit him with a ball and it looks like it really hurts." I said "Should I take him to the nurse?"

"Oh uhh yeah, yeah you should" she said sounding as though she had not dealt with this a lot.

"Bella could you help me I don't know the way." I said.

"Yeah, sure" she said.

As we were waiting in the nurses office we started talking. We actually had a lot in common I mean we really did. We both liked the classic novels like Jane Austin. We both liked classical music.

"Hey, you should spend the night at my place. If that's alright with your parents." She said.

"Yeah, yeah should be fine what time should I come over?" I said wondering what this could turn out to be.

"Is around six good?"

"Good, yeah I'll see you then." I said genuinely looking forward to tonight. But that is when I got a little call.

_JANE! (It was Phoebe) _

_Gosh you don't have to yell._

_Hey you're in my head!_

_Yeah well you're in mine._

_I need your help. _

_Oh really? What happened?_

_We are all being kept hostage. And they are about to make Wyatt the Source of all Evil. Hurry they are just about to make Wyatt kill Paige!_

_Ok I'll be right over. _

I pulled back into myself and realized that the bell had gone and Bella was taking me to my next class.

"Oh hey Bella I kinda have to go" I said you see I can't just teleport out of there with so many people watching.

"But we have class," then she looked at the worried look on my face "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Well something, but we'll talk tonight yeah?" already running to the safety of the car park where I could teleport in peace.

"Yeah I'll see you tonight." She called with a worried look on her face.

When I finally got to the car park I ran behind a car and blinked out of there. I located the sisters using my powers. My awesome powers.

I got to the cavern (why do the demons always have to live in caverns?) I was hiding behind a rock. But when I looked out it looked like all hell was breaking loose.

**Sorry for the wait. Assessments and all that. Hope you like it **

**Sincerely Tinman**


	4. They need my help What a surprise!

Chapter 4

Paige was tied to a post that the Salem witches used to get burned to the ground on, and Piper and Phoebe were on the ground watching with helpless looks in their eyes, the whole cavern was surrounded with minions laughing and jeering. But worst of all Wyatt was in fount of Paige with a fire ball in his hand. He had this ruthless smile.

Just as he was drawing his arm back to throw the ball I 'blink' fast as lightning and went to Paige and 'blinked' right back out again.

"Hey! What the hell do you think your doing?" Said Paige then she realized it was me and then said,

"Wyatt's been possessed and the demon that has possessed him wants to be the next 'Source' and the only way he can prove himself to be the 'Source' is to kill one of the Charmed ones. We haven't been able to get the demon out of him with spells so I need to make a potion and you need to go back there fast and help the others."

"Right" I said "you work on the depossesing potion thingy and I'll get the others."

As I blink back to the cavern I look at my watch and look at the time five to six (time travels differently when you're in different worlds)

_Shit_

I look back mentally into Paige's mind and see the doorbell ring

_Oh no_

In my rush I realized that I 'blinked' into my house in Forks and now Bella was here to come collect me to go to her sleepover.

But right now I had to concentrate on getting Piper and Phoebe out to Paige so then they could deposses Wyatt. Paige would have to deal with Bella for a second.

I was back in the cavern and the demon inside Wyatt was yelling at Piper and Phoebe (Let me tell you it's a sight to see a 3 year old yelling at him mum in a really manly voice)

"WHERE DID SHE GO? SHE COULD NOT HAVE JUST DISSAPEARED."

Piper always the defiant one spat at Wyatt and said

"We will never tell you an-"and just as she was finishing her sentence I went around and silently assassinated all of the demon's minions.

She and Phoebe looked confused for a second and then she realized that it was me and that I was here to help.

She continued "-ything you sonofabitch!"

"ARRRRRHHHHH" The demon screamed and yelled; "Minions tie Piper to the post. She will be the one to die now."

But when no one responded to his call he looked around and saw no one but me sitting on a rock shaking the smoke away from all the fireballs I threw.

"YOU!" He screamed

"Yep me" (I was always one for theatrics) and 'blinked' out of there. Grabbed Paige and the potion and 'blinked' back to the cavern.

Wyatt is still all confused so I untie Piper and Paige goes and unties Phoebe. I throw them the potion and then they throw the potion at Wyatt and start chanting something stupid.

The demon comes out of Wyatt and Piper explodes him.

All is well again and I start to leave wanting to start the long job of explaining things to Bella, when the sisters stopped me.

"Thank you Jane." Said Piper

"Oh you know me; all in a day's work" I said embarrassed by the attention I was getting.

"Oh hey Jane that girl that came around when I was making the potion now thinks that I am your mother, she sounded worried about you and when she asked if you were still coming around I said that you'll be over later then expected. I hope that's ok." Said Paige

"Yeah that's excellent." I said and paused "You do realize that if I need a mum when I am over there I'm gonna need to call upon you and you're gonna have to come." I said thinking that this could get a bit awkward.

"The thought did cross my mind but I'll deal."

"Well then I kinda have to go so I'll see u later yeah?"

"Um Jane we can't orb in this cavern if we could don't you think we would have done while we were captives?" Said Phoebe

"Oh yeah sorry, everyone take hold" Holding out my arm.

We arrived in the Halliwell manor and Piper immediately went to go put Wyatt into bed.

"Well then if you're all happy I'm going to go now." I said eager to get going.

"Yes thank you Jane we owe you one" Said Phoebe.

"Oh no problem, see you later" then before anything could come up I 'blink' out.

I arrive outside Bella's house and look at my watch which was set to the setting that kept up with the time of the current world I was in.

Damn it was 7, I was really late.

The tell tail Volvo was waiting in the driveway telling me that Edward was home.

I ring the door bell and Bella almost immediately pulls open the door and asks if everything is ok.

I laugh and answer "Everything's cool it was just a false alarm. I had to rescue three sisters from one of their sons was trying to kill them so that he can become all powerful. No big."

Bella gave a skeptical look and it looked like she couldn't tell if I was joking or not. Well it was the truth wasn't it?

"I was just saying goodbye to Edward." Said Bella and pulls Edward out from behind her then she kissed him goodbye and he says goodbye to me and walks over to his Volvo.

I actually had a good night. Chief Swan was a nice bloke and Bella and I ordered pizza for dinner because apparently she cooks dinner for Charlie and herself, and tonight she didn't feel like it with me here.

We talked late into the night about books. When she went to sleep I tried to do the same but it was hard with Edwards's thoughts outside the whole time.

_I wonder why I can't hear Jane's thoughts. Wait what was that?_

I hear a rustle of leaves and realize that it is just Emmett seeing where Edward was because apparently they were going hunting tomorrow and they needed to get going now.

As soon as Edward leaves I hear another rustle of leaves and brush it off as Edward coming back to say goodbye to Bella or something but then I see a flaming red head of hair coming in through the window.

_SHIT_ what was Victoria doing here. I thought that my action packed day was over.

**Tinman**


	5. Meet the family

Chapter 5

**BTW I have forgotten to put all those disclaimers and everything so SORRY! So from now on know that I do NOT want to take all the credit everything belongs to their respective writers. I own nothing but the plot.**

Just a little background information before I go back to the exciting story.

I live in the world that you guys all live in, the one where absolutely no magic is born into the world, apart from me.

This world is my 'Home' but this world is also the world that every world is linked to. So every TV show, every book or movie that was ever written they all live in separate worlds. Understand?

So if I really wanted to I could visit the world of the 'Very hungry caterpillar' but children's books are the most boring ones.

I mean can you imagine going to a world where all you do is watch a caterpillar eat stuff?

So if I'm in a really depressed mood I could go to the world "Terminator" and shoot robots or whatever, I could never really get into that movie.

Or if I feel like singing I could go visit Ohio and sing with the 'New Directions Glee Club' there're really fun to hang around. But that Rachel kid, GOD she's annoying.

So you know it rocks to be me. Just thought you guys might want to get a bit more information, being the very generous person that I am.

Anyway…

_Back to the story!_

_SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!_

_What the hell is she doing here?_

_(Oh right I _was_ supposed to be protecting Bella)_

_Hmmm I could attack her and force the truth out of her. But that might wake up Bella. _

_Maybe its time to let the cat out of the bag. I could send a thought to Edward making him think that Bella is in danger (which she is) and then, oh I don't know!_

_I could just pretend to be asleep and see what she wants, maybe she doesn't want to kill Bella just yet, maybe she has bigger plans. _

As I watch her go across the room she goes looking in the wardrobe for something, I wonder what the hell could be in the closet.

Then she pulls out a really heavy baseball bat out of the wardrobe.

Oh

_EDWARD! _I shout mentally. I could see him running as fast as he can back to Bella's house, he must've gotten the gist of the message.

As Victoria (I had read up on my vampires) reached the bed I jump out of bed and rugby tackled her.

Shit this chick was hard! (Not like that you sick minded freaks)

Bella woke up, took one look at Victoria and me struggling on the floor and instantly looked around for Edward, well at least I think that was what she was doing.

I was, however preoccupied with Vikki over here.

Even with my super strength I was having trouble. She was one strong chick. But nearing the end of our little bitch fight I ripped her arm off as she was clawing my face and she screeched in pain.

Before her arm could crawl back to her I hissed at her,

"You should stop trying to hurt Bella or next time I will actually kill you." You see I don't like killing people, well, vampires. I just don't like it. I mean I will kill if someone's life is in danger but really most people just need a really good threat.

So I conjure a lighter in my pajama pocket, pull it out, and start clicking the gas button.

She got out of there real fast after that so fast in fact that she left her arm behind. EW!

I get up off the floor and looked at Bella. Edward had just arrived (just in time) and Bella was wrapped in Edward's arms protectively and they were both staring at me incredulously.

"Hey guys what's up?" I asked. And picked up the arm that way lying there and threw it out the window.

Edward was the first to recover "Jane, I think you had better explain yourself."

"Edward, I was just about to do that. But I think I had better explain in front of your whole family though this could concern them in the future, and there is no doubt that you have told them about me." I said in a sort of jokingly way.

" well… no I haven't because I was around Bella all day." He said.

"Well then, we had better get right over there shouldn't we." I said. I thought this family was tight.

"Right well I can't carry you and Bella so uh…" Edward looked inquiringly "can you make your own way to my house?"

"Haha right, sure. See you there!" I say and then 'blink' out to the Cullen's house.

The small one of the family was waiting outside.

"Who are you?" she said and she looked kinda angry I think she was the future seer and I guess she wasn't used to being surprised. (the device was blocking her seeing future me)

"Well… I'll tell you when Edward and Bella come back." I said not wanting to repeat myself by telling it to everyone one by one.

"But Edward was supposed to go hunting," she glared at me "What is going on?"

"Ugh we had I surprise visit from Victoria ok?" I confess.

"But I didn't see her." And then her gaze went blank I guess she was looking into the future but maybe she was just spacing out. I can't tell the difference.

But while I was trying to figure out what she was doing Edward and Bella arrived.

"Yeah now the party can begin! Alright uhh Edward can you snap your 'sister' out of her trance and lead the way inside?" I said ready to get this over with.

Edward lightly touched 'future seer's' arm and murmured something I couldn't hear. And started walking inside with Bella. 'future seer' woke up and followed them, and with a quick scan of the surrounding forest I went inside too.

Their house was AMAZING it was like everyone's dream home I would gladly give up my powers just to live in house. W O W!

"Everyone we have a visitor." Said Edward in a normal voice but apparently everyone heard him because in ones and twos they started coming into the room and sitting at the table. They must have super hearing.

"Carlisle was working the night shift but he should be home soon." Said the oldest looking of the bunch, "I'm Esme by the way." I was guessing she was the 'mother'

They then went around and said their names.

"Jasper." Said the blond boy with a lot of scars. He was sitting next to 'future seer'

"Alice." So that was her name! She was short with short crazy hair.

"Emmett" Said the massively buff one.

"Rosalie" She was sitting next to Emmett and was stunningly beautiful like more than the rest.

"I already know you two!" I said looking at Edward and Bella. Edward looked at me strangely but Bella (since we were friends) smiled.

But I think if we weren't friends she would be looking at me like I was an alien.

Just then I could hear a car on the long driveway. "And this" (knowing that they could hear what I could hear) "must be…."

But as he stepped through the door I stopped short and stared at him.

Without helping it I started laughing.

Carlisle took one unbelieving look at me and I could see him mouthing the word _Jane_.

Then he started laughing with me.

**Tinman**


	6. Carlisle Tells a Story

**This long wait deserves a special present, I'm writing a chapter RIGHT NOW and it should be up in a day or LESS! AMAZING**

"How are you old man?" I said once I had finished laughing. I was about 2 seconds away from jumping into his arms.

'Alright,' Carlisle said then he paused 'Old man? How many bodies has it been? I almost didn't recognize you, but you still have the same facial expression.' He then mimicked my face as he came through the door.

I started laughing and he joined in.

'I can see you've been busy' I said looking around at his family. They all had shocked expressions except Alice. She still looked infuriated. She obviously had not seen this.

'I see you've already met the family.' Carlisle said waving a hand at his family.

'Carlisle what's going on? Who is she?' Rosalie looked curious.

Carlisle sighed and went to go sit at the head of the table, since when have vampires needed to sit, I don't know. Maybe they were just used to acting human.

'Well' Carlisle said, 'we met each other when I was with the Volturi.' Edward and Bella went to go sit at the table next to Alice.

I remained standing, there were no more seats at the table.

'When I joined them Jane was already good friends with Aro and Marcus. But for some reason that I have never found out she hated Caius with a passion. She would play childish tricks on him and the others just thought they were hilarious.

Jane was the only one I have known to be friends and actually talk to Marcus without him looking bored or her running away screaming when he gave her a pointed look.

I always thought she was a vampire because well she was living with them. But I had always wondered why her birthdays were more celebrated then others. And then I realized that she was growing.

I wanted to talk to her but in some ways she was with the popular crowd of the Volturi and I was, well not so popular.'

It was weird hearing Carlisle's version of what happened. I didn't realize that I was popular with the Volturi, and just between you and me, I had always looked up to Carlisle. He taking a different approach to lets call it 'Vampireism.'

He would refuse to drink with the others and go out hunting by himself.

I look around the table again. Everyone was captivated by Carlisle story. Except Bella…. She had fallen asleep on Alice's shoulder, and Alice was stroking her hair absentmindedly as she listened to the story.

'I finally got to talk to Jane on one of her birthdays, I think it was her 18th.' Carlisle continued. 'But she had had a little to drink, and it was hard to actually talk to her.'

My harsh laughter cut through the silence. 'A little?' I have to consume twice as much alcohol from a normal human to become a little tipsy. But everyone else there was drinking blood so all the booze was left to me. I was a little rowdy back then, what would you have done?

'I had consumed almost all of their supply of wine.' I said. 'Every time the humans had to bring presents to the Volturi they always brought wine and they just stored it all, they couldn't drink it. Aro said to help myself, but I don't think he meant all of it, and I only realized it after I had drunken all of it' I said sheepishly.

Carlisle smiled at the memory.

'Hey! Your Carrrrlisle, I love you, I lurrrrrrrrrve you this much, your so handsome and pretty.' Carlisle mocked as he imitated my voice.

'Hey I do not remember saying that!'

'But then you proceeded to throw up on my shoes.' Carlisle continued as if I had not said anything.

'I took you back upstairs to your room and you all but collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep instantly.' Carlisle said.

Edward looked at me in disgust. Like he thought that I still binged drink and throw up on stranger's shoes.

'Hey asshole,' I said looking at him, 'at least I don't stalk people and watch them sleep!'

Edward gave Bella a look, but she was still asleep on Alice's shoulder. He then turned to me and gave me this look like I was wrong to accuse him of watching people sleep.

'Whatever' I said

'So you were sent from the Volturi to spy on us for them?' Rosalie said starting to rise.

'Nah I got kicked out… Continue with the story Carlisle!' Rosalie sat back down and everyone turned to Carlisle again.

'Well the next day Jane approached me and apologized for her behavior. We started talking until she looked at her watch and then interrupted me mid sentence.

"Do you want to see something cool?" she had said. So I nodded and followed her to Caius's chambers. We hid in his wardrobe and she started counting down. 5…4…3…2...1 and on the one Caius came into the room.

I gave her this look like "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" and she just smiled and pointed through the crack of the doors.

Caius had walked to a mirror. He took a look around him, but no one would be stupid enough to go into Caius's chambers… oh wait.

He pushed the mirror and I realized it was a door. I never saw what was behind the mirror because as soon as he opened it, blue paint exploded into his face.

A low growl had risen in his throat until it was deafening "" Jane next to me was shaking with laughter. I myself had to fight to keep a little chuckle from escaping my lips.

He ran out of the room and Jane stepped out of the wardrobe. "How FUCKING amazing was that?"

**Please review! It reminds me to write more! And I just love it when you review, it makes me happy inside!**


	7. Carlisle Tells a Story Part 2

**I have decided to stop making promises as to when the next chapter will come. It will come wheather it takes a year or a day. And its true, reviews do remind me to write the next chapter because they send that little email, then im like 'oh fanfiction, I better write another chapter.'**

**AND I may have just noticed that jane and scary pain loving vampire jane have the same name. SO I have decided to cut SPLV jane out of this story. Alec now has SPLV powers as well as his own.**

Emmett looked at me in admiration, and everyone else let out a chuckle, even Edward. Bella was still asleep though.

"Wait, you exploded paint onto one of the worlds scariest vampires?' said Emmett.

"why yes, yes I did." I pretended to polish my nails on my shirt.

Alice had stopped looking at me like I had killed her cat and started looking at like I was a hero.

"Continue with the story Carlisle!" Alice pestered.

"Well after we had run from his chambers, we sat in my room laughing.

'I have another one planned, this one will be the best prank, the prank to top off all pranks, not even written down because it is so… pranky. Are you in?' Jane was sitting cross legged on my desk still smiling from the paint bomb.

'Well I don't know, in case you hadn't noticed Caius is scary as shit, and I don't really want to be kicked out just yet.'

'Oh please I'll take the fall, as I always do, and Aro would never let me leave. Everyone loves me!'

'Oh alright, what do you want me to do?' I was trying to sound like she forced me into it, but really inside I was really excited.

But Jane was getting off my desk and a few seconds later there were footsteps coming towards to door.

Alec pushed the door open.

'I know, I know, I'm coming.' Alec stood by the door and let Jane pass. She turned around at the last minute and pointed at the desk, and then left.

I looked at my desk, and in a messy scrawl were the words,

MY ROOM 7 O'CLOCK TOMORROW. BRING YOUR MEDICAL SET

AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY"

"Oh that's great. Now we have an alcoholic looking after us." Edward was close to shouting at me. This woke Bella up.

"Edward, Jane is a friend of mine and you will treat her that way." Carlisle's tone was not angry just like a father telling his child off. I let Edward read that one thought of mine, and gee, if looks could kill.

Carlisle cleared his throat and waved his hand at me. I guess it was my turn to tell the story. Everyone looked at me expectantly except Edward. He glared at me.

"Alec walked me down the hall saying nothing, its not that he didn't want to I could see in his eyes he wanted to talk to me, however he was required not to. But even he could not stop the whisper that said

'Jane did you really push Caius off a ledge and into a big vat of paint?'

I shot him a look. 'Um no. just a harmless paint bomb.'

'What color?'

'Blue'

Alec snorted as he pushed the door open for me, he knew that Caius hated blue. I stepped into the grand hall. Everything happened in the grand hall. It's where the Volturi ate, err drank. And well basically where Aro, Marcus, and Caius sat the whole day.

But today there was just Aro.

'Ah Jane, there you are. Do you want to have lunch with me.'

I ran up to him and gave him a hug.

'Anytime Aro, you know that. But I do wish that _you_ would come get me, and not send Alec. God I mean, its not that hard. And you're a vampire!'

Aro chuckled as he led me into his back room where there was a table set out with a big pot of pasta sitting in the middle. At the head of the table where Aro sat there was a big jug and a cup (I think you know what is in that jug)."

"There is nothing really that made me put this in the story." I said to the table of vampires, "except Aro warning me that I had to stop pulling pranks on Caius. Otherwise he might not be able to protect me; like he had that day."

"Oh and Marcus had come in and we all laughed at how funny it was to see Caius covered in blue paint."

"ANYWAY. The next day I was waiting in my room for Carlisle to arrive. I had my whisky glass and everything. Aro had banned me from the wine cellars, so I was feeling a little deprived.

Finally there was a knock on the door. At 7 sharp.

'come in, come in.' I reached around the door pulled Carlisle in and sat him on the bed.

'Did you bring… the stuff?' He pulls a bottle out of a big bag; this bag I assumed was his medical kit.

I take the bottle and pour myself a glass. 'you champion Carlisle!' I said downing my glass and going for another.

After the second one I got started on telling Carlisle my plan.

'Okay here's the plan. But first I need to know will you be able to fill up a dummy with uh red paint?'

Carlisle looks confused, and then nods. 'Yes I guess, if I can get the consistency right.'

'Ok then here we go. I have a really life like dummy in my closet and you're going to fill it up with red paint. Then I'm going to offer it to Caius as a peace offering. He's going to drink from the dummy. And swallow red paint.

Now you may not know this but paint has a peculiar effect on vampires. When drank it causes their voices to get all high pitched and squeaky. And it doesn't wear off for about a month.

But here is the best bit, he's getting the vampire equivalent of marriage in 2 weeks! He's marrying some girl, um Bonnie I think her name is. Stupid name, I know.

But what do you think? Will you do this last prank with me Carlisle?"'

**Now I know I've been focusing more on twilight but one more chapter and ill be back with the charmed ones Ok? Just bare with me for just one more chapter PLEASE! (if you are here for the charmed part and not for the twilight part) **

**RAMBLING sorry. PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me anything. Even if your dog died! (which I hope it didn't…) **

**Sincerely **

**Tinman**


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